Stop being nice with your time

Why mothers in leadership need to do the math

“I just hate paying this salary,” she said. “It feels like such a waste.”

I was talking to the chief executive officer of a non-profit. She was frustrated about an employee who had become a drain on the organization. She felt like she had to spend all day with this person just to get them to do their job.

I stopped her. “Actually, that salary is a drop in the bucket compared to what the organization is wasting by having you babysit this person.”

She looked confused.

“You are the most valuable resource this company has,” I continued. “If you’re spending significant time on something that doesn’t need your expertise, that’s the real waste. It’s your responsibility as an executive to be extremely disciplined about your time.”

I could see it click. This wasn’t about being nice or patient or understanding. This was about dollars and cents. It was about being responsible with the institution’s resources.

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In my leadership coaching work with heads of school, I do this exercise all the time. I ask: How much is it costing for you to show up at the admin team meeting?

This is eye-opening for people.

In many cases, if the head of school shows up at the admin team meeting, the school’s investment in that meeting doubles.

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This principle applies beyond the workplace.

I used to think being a good leader—and a good mother—meant being available. Patient. Willing to help with whatever came up.

Then I did the math.

As an educator, I was paid annually. No overtime. No hourly rate printed on my contract. It took me actually sitting down with a calculator to figure out what my time was worth per hour.

Once I knew that number, everything changed.

I became more disciplined about where I put my time. Not because I was trying to be “transactional” or “cold” or “hierarchical.” But because I realized that my time is a finite resource. And how I spend it matters—not just for me, but for everyone who depends on me.

Including my family.

All of a sudden, I caught myself folding laundry while my kids were watching YouTube.

“Hey! Come over here. I’m going to teach you how to fold laundry.”

Why was I doing a $10 task when I could be teaching a life skill? Or resting?

Letting my teen take an Uber rather than me driving her felt like a savings rather than an expense.

The weekly housekeeper that had felt like an indulgence suddenly felt more like good financial sense.

Time is money.

I hadn’t been trained to think about the value of my time. But once I started quantifying it, I couldn’t unsee it.

I realized it wasn’t about being nice (or not nice), it was about being responsible with my most precious resource.

Want to calculate your hourly rate?

Here's a super simple calculator based on an annual salary.

And don’t forget benefits! In my case, when I factored in health insurance, retirement contributions, and tuition remission, my hourly rate more than doubled.

What about you?

• What are you doing that someone else could do—or that doesn’t need to be done at all?

• What would you do if you had more time?

🕊️

SAM

Having time to play with washi tape: Priceless.

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