I love these labels as ways to think about my kids' needs. I've got one who's a dandelion in some ways and an orchid in others. Knowing when he needs extra sensitivity and support and knowing when I should step back and let him develop some grit and resilience feels like a constant internal tug-of-war!
I'm often worried that I have a dandelion daughter but I'm treating her like an orchid. By providing just the "right" conditions for things, am I not letting her grow the roots and strengthen her leaves, so to speak, to develop the heartiness and resilience that she would otherwise naturally build for herself? There are so many terms these days for the "wrong way" to parent (snowplow, helicopter, etc.) that it's easy to overthink decisions. I want home to be the loving, warm, nurturing place that it is - and also encourage her to be adaptive and strong.
How lucky your daughter is to have your devoted attention! And to have such a loving, warm, nurturing home. And maybe when you drop the ball next time, rather than berating yourself, you can tell yourself what a wonderful service you are doing her by giving her the opportunity to grow the roots and strengthen leaves without you :-)
“I realized my oldest child might be an orchid when our second child was born. As a newborn, I would lay him down in his bed, and he would just—go to sleep!”
This resonates so much! Granted my second baby is still shy of 3 months old.. but even from a few weeks old I told my husband that I think he has a different personality than our 3yo.. he’s just “easier” (goes to sleep more easily, more relaxed and content to just chill during the day, etc). My husband thinks I’m kind of crazy to read into this, and there are the dynamics of second time parenthood, so we’ll see how he progresses of course but I wouldn’t be surprised if my oldest turns out to be much more orchid-like than his younger brother.
I love these labels as ways to think about my kids' needs. I've got one who's a dandelion in some ways and an orchid in others. Knowing when he needs extra sensitivity and support and knowing when I should step back and let him develop some grit and resilience feels like a constant internal tug-of-war!
"constant internal tug-of-war" -- yep! That pretty much captures most of parenting for me :-)
I'm often worried that I have a dandelion daughter but I'm treating her like an orchid. By providing just the "right" conditions for things, am I not letting her grow the roots and strengthen her leaves, so to speak, to develop the heartiness and resilience that she would otherwise naturally build for herself? There are so many terms these days for the "wrong way" to parent (snowplow, helicopter, etc.) that it's easy to overthink decisions. I want home to be the loving, warm, nurturing place that it is - and also encourage her to be adaptive and strong.
How lucky your daughter is to have your devoted attention! And to have such a loving, warm, nurturing home. And maybe when you drop the ball next time, rather than berating yourself, you can tell yourself what a wonderful service you are doing her by giving her the opportunity to grow the roots and strengthen leaves without you :-)
Oh, I have quite the flower garden in this family! I love the perspective of the orchid vs. the dandelion!
I've been thinking about researching flowers so I can extend this metaphor. Stay tuned!!
“I realized my oldest child might be an orchid when our second child was born. As a newborn, I would lay him down in his bed, and he would just—go to sleep!”
This resonates so much! Granted my second baby is still shy of 3 months old.. but even from a few weeks old I told my husband that I think he has a different personality than our 3yo.. he’s just “easier” (goes to sleep more easily, more relaxed and content to just chill during the day, etc). My husband thinks I’m kind of crazy to read into this, and there are the dynamics of second time parenthood, so we’ll see how he progresses of course but I wouldn’t be surprised if my oldest turns out to be much more orchid-like than his younger brother.